That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is the high leading the old right now
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
