i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
