I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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