dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
