Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize