I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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