love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
