dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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