Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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