i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
