It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
