Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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