I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
