yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
