Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
