sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
