just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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