we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
