I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
