is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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