it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
