wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize