Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
