Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
