Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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