so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
