how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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