Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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