im having a threesome with these popsicles
it was like eating out sand paper
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
