Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
