you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
