in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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