Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
