so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
