So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
