i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
