i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
