EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
