did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
