remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
