Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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