I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
