Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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