not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
