We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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