I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
