i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
