WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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