he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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