He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
