Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
