I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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