just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pants are for mortals
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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