She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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