Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
