Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
