no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
