In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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