Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
