guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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