69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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