No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize