i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
