does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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