genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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